Friday, February 12, 2010

Breaking the Chains that Bind

I stand with your cause (and your python-like ability to disjoint your jaws), but next time leave the double-breasted coat and cashmere scarf at home. It looks really bougie.

Throughout history, most people who used "any means necessary" couldn't pay for the New School or use their father's Nordstrom card. Just sayin... but I'm still down if you want to escape for the weekend up to Connecticut and discuss gender theory. *wink wink*

Why Are All the GOOD Neo-Nazis Taken?

You haven't changed my mind about race, immigration, affirmative action, or even this.

But you look like a prime candidate for my favorite bussing program. (link nsfw)

Thursday, February 4, 2010

I Know the Perfect Place For Those to Steep...

Let me be clear: we here at SuperCuteProtesters would never advocate the physical abuse of a minor.

*owl hoot*

That said, the shirt this pubescent teabagger is wearing has me feeling seven kinds of rage and a whisper of guilt, but mostly it's just making my shorts awfully tight. ::calls local chapter of NAMBLA::

Sunday, October 18, 2009

NEM Edition: Gays Love Snowclones

Snowclones are great for protest signs: "Gay is the new black." "Save a horse. Ride a cowboy." "Gays gone wild." Your clever shirt reminds me of Jews for Jesus.

Oh, and it's snowclone, not snowball. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

NEM Edition: What Happens at Church Camp Stays at Church Camp

I can't tell if this is a protest, a Miley Cyrus concert, or praise and worship hour at ex-gay camp.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

NEM Edition: Me and My Faux Hawk Demand An End to DOMA

I didn't really think you were my type until i noticed your underwear: Hanes boxer briefs. Not Diesel. Not Calvin Klein. Hanes.

Your down-to-earth, Super Wal-Mart sensibility is the kind of thing I can get behind. (Or the other way around. Whatever. It's up to you.)

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

NEM Edition: Erect for Equality

Was it the cool October wind? Was it the prospect of inevitable equality? Or was it being chased down by a drunken blogger with an iPhone?

Either way, you could etch "NO H8" into glass with those delightful nips.

Monday, October 12, 2009

SCP introduces: National Equality Edition

Super Cute Protesters has returned!

This weekend most SCP bloggers were in DC, marching for full LGBT equality. Hundreds of thousands of people from all over the country marched down Pennsylvania Avenue, demanding that Congress and President Obama take us seriously.

We promise to keep SCP posts witty, irreverent, and silly. That is what we do best. However, let me pause a moment to share a serious thought or two. (I apologize in advance.)

The march was amazing. I've always been suspicious of protests. What good can they really do? I refuse to chant silly slogans and "the herd" always makes me nervous. But yesterday, I felt differently.

If the only good thing to come from Sunday was that lump in my throat, the goosebumps on my arms, and that incredible feeling of solidarity that comes from being one person among thousands, joined together for a fleeting moment by the common cause of justice and equality, then it was worth it 100 times over.

It was energizing to be with friends whom I usually only see after sunset. We were there at noon, when we'd normally be sleeping off the decadence of the night before. It was encouraging to see straight friends, compelled to march not by self-interest, but by a commitment to stand up with their LGBT friends, whose lives they know to be the same as their own.

There was a breast cancer walk in DC this weekend. As we turned a corner on Pennsylvania Avenue, I was stunned to see a row of women (and a few men) dressed in pink, taking a break from their walk to cheer us on. These two causes--breast cancer awareness and LGBT civil rights--can't be more disparate. Yet there they were, lending their voices to our cause. Thank you.

It was also fun... perhaps too much fun. We began toward the front so we took a justified brunch break at a restaurant on the route. An hour later, after a few shots and some food, we rejoined the march. Everyone knows that Jameson is great for bravado. And bravado is just what I needed to be that guy, snapping pictures of super cute protesters with super cute signs. The pictures will follow in the coming days. As classless and profane as our captions will be, I should say for the record: Thank you to my brothers, sisters, and allies for coming to my city, and letting me march with you. As we continue to fight for equality and respect for all, let's have some fun on the side. In our case, the fun comes from this silly little blog and the adorable protesters who make it possible.

As always, you can send pics to us at

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Solo Protesters Steal the Show

Why so lonely? Looks like Mr. Grumpy needs some cuddle time.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Is Your Nickname "Scientology"?

I hope it is. I really, really hope it is.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

No... wire... hangers... EVER!

Because in Planned Parenthood, no one can hear you scream...

Friday, May 1, 2009

Fugly Friday: Militant Sexual Deviant Edition

With all that fat bearing down on his tiny feet, he looks like a scoop of shit in a moldy ice cream cone, dipped in sprinkles of fascism. A scoop of shit grabbing its balls.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

I've Never Seen THAT Service Option Before...

Hi. Uh, my name is Verizon, I'm here about the sign...

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

That looks like a fun toy...

::Shuffles feet and eyes bottle of lube shyly::

Position Assumed

Is that a tattoo on your back or just where I should be aiming?